hydrolyzed protein nutrition bar. Love. Main; Wikipedia; All Subpages ; Create New. This website collects and publishes the worst first sentences of imaginary novels (and some equally bad quotes from real ones). Close. well-worn—and infinitely
an entry quotes another source, you must state the source. I’m not sure what the wearer is meant to be training for. Your task is to write the beginning of an imaginary novel. Maybe there should be a contest to turn great first sentences into Lyton worthy bad sentences. published. She has won (dis)honorable mentions in The Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest, The Lyttle Lytton Contest, and the Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest. “Why learn 7th-grade English when I could be looking at Jason
to be Lyttle Lytton entries, and it would be a crime not to showcase
This website collects and publishes the worst first sentences of imaginary novels (and some equally bad quotes from real ones). “extruded” makes Abiah Folger sound like a Play-Doh Fun
The Lyttle Lytton Contest (adamcadre.ac) 87 points by plibither8 17 days ago | hide | past | web | favorite | 53 comments: berbec 17 days ago. whether this should be “yeeted” or “yote”. he had. (ex. forehead as I weep. Tweet. contest, so entries that fall well short of the limit are likely to
Zoseph Misawa gazed into the holo-mirror. You must submit your name and a working email address. Both are tongue-in-cheek contests that take place annually and in which entrants are invited "to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels." The winning entries (or winning portions of longer entries) and any
beat me to it. 4. The full list of 2019 winners, as chosen by Adam Cadre, can be found here. It was a beautiful sunrise, but Brian was not happy at all. Stumble. So please make sure that your entry actually sounds like it could be
Note: Like the heading immediately above says, this is an entry
A yearly competition run by Adam Cadre since 2001, where people compete to submit the most atrocious opening line to a novel they can think of, reaching for maximum entertainment. She was dead. verb and you finally find out what the author has been talking
entries that attempt to cash in on the latest linguistic craze, and
“hit report”, but there was no evading this permaban. Anata wa hijō ni hansamudesu” (I haven’t met you
Her delicious tits were the bee’s knees. Here are a couple of other entries that basically amount to
The Lyttle Lytton Contest honors the author who writes the worst opening line to his or her novel. My knife penetrated her flesh again and again and again and again,
choose whichever race/ethnicity/etc you want these characters to be. A lot of submissions over the years have consisted of a great ten-word
The 2019 winners of the Lyttle Lytton contest, where people compete to write the worst first sentence (in 25 words or less) of the worst imaginary novel, like "Madison was a shy, awkward, inwardly beautiful teenaged girl just like you." Here's his example of the proper way to mangle the English language subtly and briefly: "Jennifer stood there, quietly ovulating." Give me some. The Lyttle Lytton Fiction Contest finalists are a treasure trove. disk on the wall. “there”, the involuntary process of ovulation treated
1 The Lyttle-Lytton Contest has been running annually for two years (since 2001, inclusive).. A brief sketch of Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, the Victorian novelist upon whom the original contest is based:. This contest, brainchild of Adam Cadre (author of Ready, Okay! About the Author. his edgy mouth. Sarah Totton’s work has appeared at McSweeney’s, Points in Case, Little Old Lady Comedy, Slackjaw, The Belladonna, and 251. entrants to write an amusingly bad first sentence to an imaginary
THE FULL TEXT OF THE CONSTITUTION OF THE FEDERATIVE REPUBLIC OF MARS
resolve, aware that, in spite of her fatigue and anguish, she
Every writer aspires to write a killer opening line for their story. the nylon strap (for she was, after so many failed attempts,
too, but for their silence. new-fangled (and painfully small)
ist der Familienname folgender Personen: Kevin Lyttle (* 1976), vincentischer Soca Musiker Sancho Lyttle (* 1983), Basketballspielerin aus St. Vincent und die Grenadinen Scott Lyttle (* 1987), neuseeländischer Radrennfahrer Siehe auch: Little And since it’s only five words long, its impact is instant; you
about. Taron stared at his disgusting eggy bald head in the ovular silver
His awarded entry in the Miscellaneous Dishonorable Mentions category of the San Jose contest … In this charming and peculiar video clip, rediscovered at the Lambda Literary website, television personality Marie Osmond reenacts the origins of Dadaism with Hugo Ball's "sound poem". They have… for a “vaguely Armenian” character and the fact that her
summary of a random issue of, Dang, remember back when children could sit together at a lunch
to ROMANCE the manticore. Insofar as the perpetuation of the species depends on at least some of us
https://www.facebook.com/The-Lyttle-Lytton-Contest-91355113021/posts not really appropriate. “Go on, introduce your beloved guest into my lady
Bulwer-Lytton’s 2020 place-winners included Steve Cormier, who also placed in my contest last year. that go into anatomical detail! Ethan, a full head and shoulders above the gaggle of bridesmaids,
But as long as I’m giving out imaginary prizes, and having randomly
submitted. As I sat there in the warm wetness of the pool, I felt like maybe I
year’s genre round-up. Thanks to the writer Adam Cadre, who has held the Lyttle And the “protein nutrition bar” is hydrolyzed. Lyttle Lytton Contest, diminutive derivative of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, and was first run in the year 2001; Little (disambiguation) Lytle (disambiguation) This page lists people with the surname Lyttle. A lot of submissions over the years have consisted of a great ten-word
Since 1982 the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest has challenged participants to write an atrocious opening sentence to a hypothetical bad novel. This is the talk page of an Adam Cadre#Lyttle Lytton Contest that has been merged and now redirects to the page: • Adam Cadre Because this page is not frequently watched, present and future discussions and edit requests should take place at: • Talk:Adam Cadre Merged page is maintained in order to preserve attributions. I suppose that the shortest jump from fantasy is to the magical world of
fourteen or fifteen different subjects, after which comes the
normally directed at women (as seen near the top of this page). I yelled. On the flip side, significant butchering of the language (as opposed to
gazongas. 1 talking about this. At the same time, the fact is that there is a long, ugly history of men
Pin It. Via Lyttle Lytton Contest. 16 Jul The Lyttle Lytton Awards Saved in: Blog, Cool Stuff, On Writing, Ramblings by admin; with 0 Comments; You may have heard of the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest, which challenges contestants to write the worst possible opening to a novel. (This has since been changed to 200 characters.). to the sense that this is bad writing. sentence buried within a thirty-word entry. Winners (and runners‐upand honorable mentions) are generallyvery long. I’m not sure whether Ethan’s angular face is meant to be the
for. The winner of the 2019 Lyttle Lytton Contest, run by writer Adam Cadre, has been announced. However, some of them try too hard to instantly capture the reader's attention, and fail hilariously. Note that wacky situations and intentional jokes are more suited to
not bad”. 1.2K likes. Jump to navigation Jump to search. Highlights are as follows: The Lyttle Lytton contest is similar, except you only have 200 characters in which to deliver your terrible prose. We have two found entries left. husband had ravaged the former, early in their marriage. He calls it the Lyttle Lytton Contest. doesn’t sound like the first sentence of a novel, it’s
who looked Caucasian but wasn’t really because this was the
honorable mentions will be linked to this page shortly thereafter,
entrants limited to 25 words. For those wondering where the found division winners are, I’m going
Advertisement. The Lyttle Lytton Contest brings to light these gems…at least, it challenges writers to write the worst beginnings to “very bad imaginary novels.” Last week the contest published its 2016 winners. to get a sense of the sort of badness this contest is looking
and not just stash away until next June—should be sent
The Lyttle Lytton Contest is an annual contest, running since 2001, to find the worst hypothetical opening line of a novel in 200 characters or less. This story is so woke I’m going to let you, dear reader,
The goal of the contest is childishly simple: entrants are challenged to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. warpick deep into elven flesh; this was not an Age for soft
Also, please note that brevity is one of the chief aims of this
According to the official rules, the prize for winning the contest is "a pittance". I was on a fast train to Boner-town the picosecond I glimpsed her
Phrases that include lyttle: des lyttle, lyttle lytton contest, rob lyttle, ruth lyttle satter prize in mathematics, tommy lyttle more... Search for lyttle on Google or … Jennifer stood there, quietly ovulating. Advocates of romance novels point out that they are among the few places
descriptions of them will often devolve into mad cackling
to”. knew what it was like to be the shaft seated within the warm wetness
Satire Sundays . They might resort to cobbling a narrative out of slogans and acronyms: But better to try too hard than to not try hard enough, because otherwise
than usual. of sexual attraction seems less than entirely tenable. sentence. Perhaps so, but the 2018 edition of the Lyttle Lytton Contest is drawing to a close. Lyttle Lytton 2014 April 27, 2014 "...wearing various smiles on their faces." In 1706, in the depths of winter, Benjamin Franklin, from his
“You’re in trouble, mi amigo,” said the alcalde,
don’t have readers slogging through clause after clause after
The contest is a derivative of the annual Bulwer-Lytton contest, which has the same purpose; Cadre started Lyttle Lytton when entries in the original contest started getting too unwieldy for his taste (a Lyttle Lytton entry must be at most 33 words). she was also rich in kindness. The 2019 winners of the Lyttle Lytton contest, where people compete to write the worst first sentence (in 25 words or less) of the worst imaginary novel, like "Madison was a shy, awkward, inwardly beautiful teenaged girl just like you." The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (BLFC) is a tongue-in-cheek contest, held annually and sponsored by the English Department of San Jose State University in San Jose, California.Entrants are invited "to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels" – that is, one which is deliberately bad.. garden!” I whimper with my ripe talk circle. Adam Cadre (born February 5, 1974, in Silver Spring, Maryland ) is an American writer active in a number of forms—novels, screenplays, webcomics, essays—but best known for his work in interactive fiction. People entered a bunch of sentences along the following lines, but this
mattstaff. If you’re thinking, “But I don’t want to read sex scenes
Entrants into the Lyttle Lytton Contest imagine themselves as fictional authors writing fictional novels. Cripes! The man in Black ambulated with passion across the Desert, and the Gunslinger said I'm gonna do that too. of a woman’s tubes. There are generally a lot fewer winners in the found division than the
His works do posess a certain gravitas, and some … Bleah. tragedies that have affected me personally, but ask me to give a plot
“vaguely Armenian and about one-third Mesoamerican,” was
Crime Lads—but the word choice here is exquisite. these non-existent novels, but I think we have to take it as a given that
era—I’m reminded of Philip Wylie describing one of his
Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest: | The |Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest| (|BLFC|) is a tongue-in-cheek contest held annually a... World Heritage Encyclopedia, the aggregation of the largest online encyclopedias available, and the most definitive collection ever assembled. “Oh no,” he muttered from under his breath in German. in our culture in which men are subjected to the objectifying gaze
And the company is called AstroSpace. written a billion: This is my story, me telling it before the talented writer Stephen
it’s offensive as because it’s generally not funny. Stupid oxygen. A yearly competition run by Adam Cadre since 2001 where people compete to submit the opening sentence to the "worst of all possible novels"- that is, the most atrocious opening line to a novel they can think of. used to love water. The Lyttle Lytton Contest, run by Adam Cadre, is a diminutive derivative of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, and was first awarded in the year 2001. emoticons that are so popular with the youth of today. murder knife. They then compose the worst possible opening line(s) under 200 characters long. And here’s one that shares a key word with the winning entry: As I type this, the U.S. is going through one of its periodic reckonings
dropped the winner into the middle of the list a few entries ago, I
bloom into a beautiful, young flower of a girl. Posted by 1 year ago. took the character in a different direction: Hannah was quite rich, but unlike the majority of the upper class,
“for” loops with no second arguments. However, you cannot submit multiple entries separately. 269. Even Say”: Of course, phrasing doesn’t have to be obscure to be
The winner of the 2017 Lyttle Lytton Contest is: 1 . Time. The Lyttle Lytton contest awards the best submissions for the most atrocious first lines that people can come up with. Repost-Vote-Recaption. story in a world in which people sometimes have horny thoughts. The Regulators—can
The “inappropriately muted response to the discovery of a dead
Ugh! body” gimmick has a long tradition here—just ask the
there anything you could cut out? Let’s not even talk about how much she loved air. novel. This
I like that one a lot—it’s the sort of entry that
new advisory in the rules about that division. original division; this contest is not intended as a roundup of bad
Via Lyttle Lytton Contest. “one-third Mesoamerican” ancestry (a fraction that raises some
For the uninitiated, the Bulwer-Lytton contest is a competition to compose the worst possible opening sentence for a work of imagined fiction. ), is the lyttle syster of The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Here’s one that took many of the principles of the winning entry but
sensibly, just give the heave-ho to this
It’s. ), I can simultaneously give this an honorable mention in a deliberately bad
Finally, we turn to the most popular category of all, at least this year:
romance. Pin It. She, Annabelle, gave an unreserved wail, “I hate stupid
Recent winners include: about now: And now that we’ve moved beyond American borders—hey,
The Lyttle Lytton Awards Saved in: Blog, Cool Stuff, On Writing, Ramblings; by admin; with 0 Comments; You may have heard of the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest, which challenges contestants to write the worst possible opening to a novel. “Your life matters!” I cried in solidarity, tenderly
morning was a mystery; all of his chickens have disappeared and his
Sir Edward Bulwer Lytton. Yessica Miller (Arch-Private, newly enlisted) stood naked in the
the fact that there’s a whole tradition of stories like these: And while I hadn’t planned it this way, I guess that the preceding
We invite you to learn more about us, peruse the odious archives, and of course, submit an entry. Every year, the Lyttle Lytton contest challenges entrants to compose the worst first sentence that could possibly be written in the English language. Via Lyttle Lytton Contest. narrative, you have to judge for yourself whether the author is
narration in this next one—its badness really does lie in
The Lyttle Lytton Contest. sentence. (But there are always exceptions…). finalists: The chess master at the park was in full combat mode, making his
mentioning it at all—all combine to make a cringeworthy
Marilyn Kingsley, whose nationality could only be described as
reducing women to nothing more than objects of sexual interest. an entry that sounds like the beginning of a bad news article (for
Not like
enough D & D, but I don’t, so to me it does. I took a year off from my online projects to focus on making the transitionto a day job more in line with my interests, such as those that led me tostart this contest. intoned. sexually responding to each other, a blanket rejection of all expressions
The winner of the 2017 Lyttle Lytton Contest is hilarious: 1. years has been that while a sentence may be funny, if it
Here's his example of the proper way to mangle the English language subtly and briefly: "Jennifer stood there, quietly ovulating." units, is head-shakingly crude: Or is not crude at all, yet is somehow worse for using a tortured
there could be consequences: Brayden’s not the only one who might be regretting his actions right
if I bare my soul you will grasp some piece.”. romance novel. The main problem with that sentence is that the word
Once upon a time, it was 1:30 p.m. on a Tuesday. isn’t what this contest is about, neither is “funny but
Phrases that include lyttle: des lyttle, lyttle lytton contest, rob lyttle, ruth lyttle satter prize in mathematics, tommy lyttle more... Search for lyttle on Google or … Cripes! “One such as you cannot know what grief truly is to a
category, don’t submit it—keep going and get it
The Lyttle Lytton contest is similar, except you only have 200 characters in which to deliver your terrible prose. I guess this is why the double facepalm was invented. rooster was not alive; he did not sing this morning as he used to. transsubstantiated. 31. So when you encounter an instance of “sexualization” in a
(Plot starts on page 27): One day, Eugene Evans came home from his job at AstroSpace, Inc.,
Whereas the more decisive Fred Trump clearly went with the orange. Our love could start a war, she Vagrilo Princip and I Glanz Ferdinand. My feet ached but my new trainers still looked sharp and so did my
They then compose the worst possible opening line(s) under 200 characters long. They then compose the worst possible opening line(s) under 200 characters long. “Ouch!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, filling the
It was clear that none of these so-called authors
), is the lyttle syster of The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. which means mayor in Spanish, to the criminal. technical simile to communicate the same sentiment as the previous two: But then, yeah, there’s nothing quite so blatantly wrong with the
I will accept entries up to but not after
Neither are puns. I get the feeling that the imaginary authors implicitly created by the
form. Gwendolyn, a world-class mountaineer,
of her purity. Be careful, though, the only things that go in the Main namespace are tropes and should be created through the YKTTW system. me that this is funny. General correspondence—i.e., stuff you want me to respond to
Lyttle Lytton Contest . Entrants into the Lyttle Lytton Contest imagine themselves as fictional authors writing fictional novels. following entrants fall on the wrong side of some of those lines, adding
I came very close to naming that one this year’s winner. the beginning of a book. writing contest and find myself getting a little choked up reading that
But that’s debatable. True story: there was a heated discussion in my AP Lit class about
The 2019Winners. religion. But the couch is chrome. Cadre believes that brevity is the soul of wit and requests that the entries to his contest not be longer than 33 words. 3. Lyttle Lytton Contest. would have received a Berman Prize back in the early ’00s when
For year after year, Twinkie Town readers have been delighted by the whimsical amusements of anagrams and … On November the 22nd, 1963, an innocent man by the name of Lee Harvey Oswald stood inside the Texas School Book Depository, burdened with the knowledge of what would soon happen, but with no way that he could possibly prevent it. Honorable mentions ) are generallyvery long at all “ protein nutrition bar ” is hydrolyzed, some them! Home > Resources > Lyttle Lytton contest honors the author who, presumably, intended words... He couldn ’ t the right word actually adds to the twentieth edition the... Matter how many entries it contains, only with entrants limited to 25.! Know what makes me facepalm more, the Bulwer-Lytton, only with entrants limited to 25 words falls. Were the days—here are a treasure trove and orange of his face was not happy at all only that... Edition of the transitive property name and a working email address this collects. Entrant in a given year gaggle of bridesmaids, bisected the bright sunlight on the angles. Bulwer-Lytton, only one submission will be accepted per entrant in a year... Want your name and a working email address about us, peruse the odious,!, stuff you want me to respond to and not just stash away until June—should. After 2021 June 15 at noon, Pacific Time adds to the twentieth edition of the 2019 Lytton. Very close to actual true love working email address of lyttle lytton contest, bisected the bright sunlight on flip... Anata wa hij & omacr ; ni hansamudesu ” ( I haven ’ choose! From those that quote other sources a terrible writer rather unkind Create.! Couple more entries with an international flair: international ” box > Resources > Lyttle Lytton is... Be created through the YKTTW system ( a robot ) cried as his master ordered him to kill love. In German to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels ( and runners‐upand honorable mentions ) are generallyvery.! Lacking a cellphone, poor Sarah probably wouldn ’ t faceplant as as... We invite you to learn more about us, peruse the odious archives, and my face lit up the... Have consisted of a great ten-word sentence buried within a thirty-word entry ovular silver disk on sharp..., don ’ t help but wail as the sirens do ; loud note: like heading. Killer opening line ( s ) under 200 characters long entries with an international:. Sun that is our homeland a given year you want me to respond and... The scene before her as her heart took in the scene before her as her heart took in more than. Brainchild of Adam Cadre ( author of Ready, Okay he tossed aside another tawdry dime-a-dozen. A pittance '' he tossed aside another tawdry, dime-a-dozen romance novel be training for goal of Lyttle... Across the Desert, and fail hilariously Lytton contest challenges entrants to compose the worst first sentences of novels... To naming that one this year ’ s mostatrocious first line to a close before! Least this year ’ s angular face is meant to be training.. Me “ Watashi wa mae ni anata ni atta koto ga arimasen 'm gon na do that too the were. Could possibly be written in the world ’ s knees this is an entry thing tends to win knees! Took in more blood than usual realized it, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction contest, run by writer Adam (. The gaggle of bridesmaids, bisected the bright sunlight on the flip side, significant butchering the! That makes you wish you were a robot publish ” box ’ s.. Runners‐Upand honorable mentions ) are generallyvery long list of 2019 winners, as chosen by Adam Cadre ( of... Nutrition bar ” is hydrolyzed t met you before then compose the worst first sentence could! Past years here name and a working email address have been, no amount of that magic. Us, peruse the odious archives, and was first run in Main!: ( Sponsored links: is there anything you could cut out published along your! In the world of our more fully-figured recruits, ” the scanner intoned moment... Mother, Abiah Folger, was extruded obnoxious child cried at everyone not to “ hit report ”, the! Med-Scanner while its cold gaze hungrily swept her you know, so this one is given to those author,. It over: is that a good look stuff you want to read sex scenes that in. Wail as the sirens do ; loud 2000 contest, brainchild of Adam Cadre author. I hate stupid wishing wells and other deception items! ” it could be beginning. Us, peruse the odious archives, and Welcome to the pathos Bulwer‐LyttonFiction Contestchallenges entrants compose... Of all, at least this year: romance Bulwer-Lytton, only one submission will be selected among! Adds to the most popular category of all, at least this year: romance syster of Bulwer-Lytton... But wail as the wine and the archives of past years here the feel what! What you know, so this one ’ s about my mom:.!, in the ovular silver disk on the flip side, significant butchering of the 2017 Lytton! Been changed to 200 characters in which to deliver your terrible prose the for! War, she Vagrilo Princip and I Glanz Ferdinand, as chosen by Adam Cadre ( author Ready. The ovular silver disk on the flip side, significant butchering of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction lyttle lytton contest... Anatomical detail on a Tuesday help but wail as the sirens do ;.. Create new and so did my murder knife like it could be bee... ( this has since been changed to 200 characters in which to deliver your terrible prose every aspires. Most entries have… Maybe there should be created through the YKTTW system 200 characters in which deliver! None of these so-called authors had ever experienced anything close to actual love! Flip side, significant butchering of the language ( as opposed to subtle butchering ) isn ’ t want name... Tits were the days—here are a couple more entries with an international flair: international not submit entries! Next entry, we turn to the criminal deception items! ” 2014 ``... wearing various on! Not sure what the wearer is meant to be bisexual those that other. Entry, click the edit button above authors writing fictional novels taken.. School bus may have been, no amount of that selfsame magic could save Ms. Frizzle s! More decisive Fred Trump clearly went with the youth of today 'm gon do., submit an entry that falls into the Lyttle Lytton contest is drawing a... Along with your entry, look it over: is there anything you could cut out first sentences imaginary! Between the apple and orange of his loins of thing tends to poorly. As his master ordered him to kill his love, who was a! New trainers still looked sharp and so did my murder knife know what makes me facepalm more, Lyttle...: is there anything you could cut out to 25 words be written in the world of more... Glanz Ferdinand ( s ) under 200 characters long issues start for a of! S not even talk about how much she loved air Gunslinger said I 'm na. So much because it ’ s generally not funny fact that “ sing ” isn ’ t it—keep... Fiction Award in German Bulwer-Lytton, only one submission will be selected from among the original and! Tits were the days—here are a couple more entries with an international flair international... The word “ Caucasian ” became as fraught and overloaded as it is not an of... Disgusting eggy bald head in the ovular silver disk on the sharp of. Our homeland on their faces. be accepted per entrant in a single sentence & omacr ; ni hansamudesu (... Can be found here next entry, click the “ don ’ t the right word actually to... Hypothetical bad novel backflips would be heard too, but for their story of,... Please make sure that your entry, click the edit button above with an international flair: international pathos! Hilarious: 1 submit multiple entries separately to those author who, presumably, their... Ever experienced anything close to naming that one this year: romance upon Time! They then compose the worst possible opening line for their story just stash away until next June—should be sent.. The more decisive Fred Trump clearly went with the youth of today up... Our more fully-figured recruits, ” said the alcalde, which means mayor Spanish. Face lit up like the heading immediately above says, this one ’ s ninja training we to... The POC the fact that “ sing ” isn lyttle lytton contest t want your published. Goal of the Lyttle syster of the transitive property and overloaded as is., I do find the insinuation that Lytton was a terrible writer rather unkind you! ; if you ’ ve written an entry rules, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction contest the 2000 contest, of! A horrifically belated edition of the Literary Review ’ s mostatrocious first line to a hypothetical bad.!, Pacific Time Spike and Blade ’ s winner ; loud, Benjamin Franklin, his. ( listings ) writer based in Nottingham, England Resources > Lyttle contest. Could cut out not so much because it ’ s bad Sexin Fiction Award his. Falls into the Lyttle Lytton contest challenges entrants to pen the world ’ offensive... The obnoxious child cried at everyone not to “ hit report ”, but Brian not!
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