Learning how to let go is one of the most important things in overcoming suffering. Related qualities: modesty, humbleness, discretion, egolessness, lack of conceit, simplicity, prudence, respect. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it. By developing them we grow as a person, expand our awareness, and have better tools to live a happy and meaningful life. Our journey of growth in life can be described as a journey of developing both insights and also virtues (qualities of mind and heart).
There is always something good in anything that happens. Fortitude.
On a deeper level, it means to diminish rumination, worries, and useless thinking. We make decisions that favor a short term gain but are likely to bring disastrous consequences in the long run.
Recommended books: The Power of Kindness (Pierro Ferrucci), Awakening Loving-Kindness (Pema Chodron). Boldness. It invites us to expand our sense of well-being to include others as well. The ones that are very similar are grouped together. Add your shows and see the site populate with them, Calendar and Homepage with your shows only, Track your watched episodes and see new ones come out, Define search engines to find episodes with one click, Get suggestions for new shows based on what you watch, Many other neat features and customizations.
Without equanimity, life is an emotional roller-coaster. I will keep going deeper into what really matters. Related qualities: character, justice, honor, truthfulness, sincerity, honesty, responsibility, reliability, morality, righteousness, ethics, idealism, loyalty, dignity. We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. Unlike the other virtues listed so far, wisdom it is not something that you can directly practice. Related qualities: boldness, fearlessness, decisiveness, leadership, assertiveness, confidence, magnanimity. It is about making a decision once, in something that is good for you, and then keeping it up despite adversities and mood fluctuations. I will choose thoughts and words based on my values, not on personal gains. The same is true for every virtue discussed in this essay. At the deepest level, detachment is a disillusionment with external desires and goals, and there is the realization that the only reliable source of happiness is internal. And sometimes we may be fooling ourselves thinking we are being “active” or “productive”. We can become victims of our own blessings. Related qualities: balance, temperance, patience, forbearance, tolerance, acceptance, resilience, fortitude.
But how can we combat them? The mind is an open field for worries, fear, and insecurity.
Life flows better when I trust resources larger than my own, and when I see purpose in random events.”. Examples: Feeling good as a result of the positive states you have cultivated in your body (health), mind (peace), and heart (gratitude). Treating challenges like energy bars. All is well.”. Without trust, life can feel lonely, scary, or unfair. We default to the easy way out, the path of least resistance.
Focus, the ability to control your attention, is the core skill of meditation. Examples: Not going into despair when we miss an opportunity, or lose some money. Cookies help us deliver our services. Friendliness. We’ll probably never be perfect at them. Tranquility without joy and energy is stale; Detachment and equanimity without love can be cold; Morality without humility can be self-righteous; Love without wisdom can cause harm to oneself; Focus and courage without love and wisdom is just blind power. Related qualities: dispassion, non-attachment, forgiveness, letting go, moderation, flexibility, frugality. It unlocks a new level of well-being: the emotional stability of knowing we will always be ok. Related qualities: optimism, faith, openness, devotion, hope. The philosophers of ancient Greece, Buddha, the Yogis, and the Positive Psychology movement all value the cultivation of certain personal qualities. It also involves not holding onto any particular state.
Funnily enough, afterwards I discovered that this was already a concept praised by the Stoics. We all have bad habits, from putting things off to getting sucked into Netflix for hours at a time. And we are uncomfortable (perhaps even fearful) with the lows – which also brings pain, because they can’t be fully avoided. The result is the experience of the “helper’s high”, a mix of dopamine and oxytocin. Recommended books: The How of Happiness (Sonja Lyubomirsky), The Book of Joy (Dalai Lama et ali), “The tighter you squeeze, the less you have.” – Zen Saying. Kindness. Not brooding about the past or worrying too much about the future. Here is the full list of virtues. Equanimity says: “In highs and lows, victory and defeat, pleasure and pain, gain or loss – I keep evenness of temper. Self-discipline. Motivation. “The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.” – Norman Vincent Peale.
Dealing with this situation by becoming kinder would not be wise. Integrity says: “I will do what is right, according to my conscience, even if nobody is looking. Developing these virtues is a life-long process. Nothing can mess me up.”. Without integrity, we are not perceived as trustable or genuine. “Opening the hand” of your mind and allowing things to flow as they will. Recommended books: Letting Go (David R. Hawkins), Everything Arises, Everything Falls Away (Ajahn Chah). Support. It unveils the other virtues, informs them, and makes their practice easier. Related qualities: contentment, cheerfulness, satisfaction, gratitude, humor, appreciation. Accepting the uncertainty of life, and how small we are.
And our tendency is often to double-down on the virtues that we already have, rather than developing complementary virtues. And, chances are, simply reading about these virtues has already enlivened them in you. Check also my online course on the topic: Letting Go, Letting Be. It’s not about being moralistic, but about being congruent to our own conscience and values, in all our actions.
Without focus our energy is dissipated and our progress in any field is limited (like moving one mile in ten directions, rather than ten miles in a single direction). Examples: Deciding to stop smoking and never again lighting acigarette. Willpower. Sincerity. We can be manipulated. The point is: we need to focus on our strengths, but we also need to pay attention to the virtues we lack the most. We can’t create good habits, break bad habits, or manifest the things we want in our lives. Play. Every step taken on developing these virtues is valuable. Cutting down on social media, TV and gossip. But when we focus solely on our strengths and use them to overcompensate our weaknesses, the result is often not good.
You are on your own, in the midst of random events, in a cold and careless universe. In this post I can only cover a brief introduction of each, and suggest some further reading.
It’s about not comparing yourself with others, to be either superior or inferior. We all have bad habits, from putting things off to getting sucked into Netflix for hours at a time.
Let’s take the case of a person whose natural strength is compassion and kindness. The disposition for joy is something that can be consciously cultivated. Not taking offense from other people. Without humility, we live stuck in an ego trap which prevents us from growing beyond the confines of our self-interests, and also poisons our relationships. Showing up to train / study / work in your passion project day after day, regardless of how you feel. Tenacity. Recommended book: The Path to Tranquility (Dalai Lama), “Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” -Winston Churchill. Every person I meet is my teacher in something.”. Kai and Libby take you through the cardinal and theological virtues that can help you combat bad habits and live a happier, more fulfilled life.From Family Theater Productions in Hollywood.\r\rVisit our website for the transcript, study guide, and more! Having the feeling that if you keep true to your path, things will eventually work out ok. Letting go of the “but I can get away with it” thinking. Related qualities: serenity, calmness, non-reactivity, gentleness, peace, acceptance.
It involves bringing your mind, moment after moment, to dwell where you want it to dwell, rather than being pulled by the gravity of all the noise going on inside and outside of you. Learning to see virtue and good in others. It points out the truth behind the surface, and the connection among things. You take your time to perceive what’s going on and act purposefully, without agitation, without hurry, and without overreacting. Shunning busyness in favor of a more purposeful living. Empathy. It is often the result of good vitality in the body, peace of mind, and an attitude of appreciation. Courage is the ability to hold on to the feeling “I need to do this”, ignore the fear mongering thoughts, and take action. We are a victim of circumstances, social/familial conditioning, and genetics. We can’t properly take care of our health, finances, mind, or relationships.
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